Memories of our friend and colleague Kevin Angus Sinex

Mark Anson’s Poem

5 Stages (of grief)…..for Angus…in memoriam

I.
Taking center stage
truth like poison
infiltrates each thought
until disbelief and denial
the only antidote
a blank screen where moments ago pulsed
all of our collective hearts
your vibrant being once
larger than life
now powerless
to the impossible
raw facts contained
in suspended breath

II.
In all unfairness
questions
cut through
an angry sky
bringing no balm for the wound
no answers to the why
only this blinding rage
at the robbery
of our expectations
upstaged and alone
to replay all we have left
the sound and the fury
mere echoes of a character
unlike any butt
one we can never forget

III.
Here today
it’s perfectly clear
temperate now though
it wasn’t always this way
hot, wet, wild tropical depression before
the time came to pull back
from the abyss
choosing to grow and embrace
other challenges for the taming
the pleasure for you always in the doing
for us mostly in the result and suddenly
there will be none of the above
just many empty tomorrows
staring into the void
where your light has vanished offstage.

IV.
Yet here we are
backstage and poorly rehearsed
for the reality
nothing apparent
to spoil the show as it seems
that much of the world has gathered
in your honor
touched by your extended reach
celebrating you as you
continue to teach
mentor father friend
husband the son
giving our voice
to your notion of life
in a last attempt to bargain
for a reversal of fortune.

V.
To the observant
outside this theater
on another stage
the golden underbelly of dusk
paints soundlessly while we listen
and lift a glass senses mingling
melting into acceptance
that our darkness holds the promise
of another chance
to dream out loud.

Yes, another lesson learned from you.

The only blemish on an otherwise spotless remembrance is your absence.

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